Going Under
by Stompy Bigfoot
Summary: After Harry is betrayed in the most terrible way by one of his closest friend, he finds himself spiralling into the dark pit. In comes Draco Malfoy, a spy for the light, and the love of Harry’s life. Will he be able to bring Harry from the brink, or is ev
1. Prologue

**GOING UNDER**

**AUTHOR:** Stompy Bigfoot

**DISCLAIMER: **I own nothing of the story; all belongs to J.K.Rowling, Warners Bros or anything I'd missed. I am only borrowing their characters for my own personal pleasure and no permanent harm will come to them.

**SUMMARY:** After Harry is betrayed in the most terrible way by one of his closest friend, he finds himself spiralling into the dark pit. In comes Draco Malfoy, a spy for the light, and the love of Harry's life. Will he be able to bring Harry from the brink, or is everything beyond repair?

**SPOILERS:** Everything up to 'Goblet of Fire', and maybe some facts from 'Order of the Phoenix'

**RATING:** R, language, and adult themes.

_Italics_ are thoughts

* * *

**Prologue**

"Please Ron, don't do this."

"Oh no Harry. You're going to pay. You're going to pay for everything you'd done to me in the past 7 years at Hogwarts. I thought I was your friend Harry, but no, you took my chance at becoming the Quidditch captain, Head Boy, you destroyed my life, if it wasn't for you, I would be all of the above. You, Harry Potter, are going to pay dearly for this……Revenge…is…sweet." Ron whispered fiercely into Harry's ear, pinning him harder onto the bed.

Harry wasn't able to move from his vulnerable position on the bed. _I didn't mean to Ron…you should know I hate all this…I thought you were my friend…_Hands locked to the headboard above his head, trousers and boxers ripped away from him, giving him no protection of what was to come. _What a sight._ Ron grinned wickedly at Harry's current position.

Ron stood up slowly, and began undoing his trousers._ I can't wait to rip him apart…sink into that sweet hole…destroy the last piece of innocence he has…_when his undergarments were down until his knees, he crouched himself over Harry again.

"Happy Christmas, Harry." With that said, Ron plunged his penis into Harry dry, without any preparation, only some spit that was coated on his genitals for his own comfort.

_Nooooooooo…I will not scream…no matter how much it kills…I will not give him the pleasure…why is he doing this…why Ron…you were my best friend…I trusted you…Ron…_

Not soon after, Ron came to his release. _Finally…anymore of this and I will die…_He undid all of his charms on Harry, dressed himself quickly and walked to the door. Just before he walked out, he turned back and threatened, "Don't bother telling anybody, because seriously, nobody would believe you, and even if somebody does, it won't do you any good, because when I find out, you are going to pay the price for dobbing me in. Remember that, Harry." Giving him another foul grin, Ron walked out of the room, out of my life. On the way, Ron untied Harry's hands from the bed, and Harry instantly felt blood circulating back to his hands and wrists.

When the door to his bedroom close, did Harry move from his spot. _It's Christmas, they wouldn't mind if I didn't go downstairs for supper…I left all my presents on the right places…not going down today… _Harry crawled off the bed, and still on his knees and hands, set out his journey on finding all his clothes back. Once he found his boxers, _they're still clean and in one piece…_he made a mistake off getting up and sitting on his abused backside, the pain and the hurt caused him to pant and tremble all over…_point…never sit down after being raped…_Since sitting isn't an option anymore, the only possible way he could think of to get dressed is to lay down on the bed, and pull all his garments on…_why am I getting dressed when I am going to shower anyway…_

_So this was why Ron wanted to give my 'present' privately. That was why he insisted on giving me my gift personally upstairs. Why Ron…Why…_

---

After scrubbing himself until his skin was al red and near bleeding, Harry got out from the shower, and gingerly began wearing his pyjamas…I_ need to go to the infirmary…have to get this healed…no matter how embarrassing this would be…I don't want an infection…damn it…_

Pulling on a robe, and bringing his wand with him, Harry made his way to the infirmary, thanking Merlin that nobody was in the hallways that time.

---

"Please don't tell anybody, Madam, I'm begging you here."

"Why Potter? Albus has…"

"NO! Please…" Harry begged, with the beginnings of tears shining in his eyes.

Poppy, seeing the distraught on Harry's face, let him off this time. "Okay, but if this happens again, and I find out, Albus has to know." _I really won't tell this time…I wonder who would've did this…because from Harry's given information…it isn't any of the Slytherins…he knows him…Hmmmm_

"Thanks." Harry gave a small nod and walked out of the infirmary.

_Nobody can know…hah…tomorrow prophet's headline 'The-Boy-Who-Live assaulted'…people will have a field day…have to pretend this never happened…focus on the upcoming war…pretend…never happened…focus…war…pretend…pretend…_


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One: Hermione Finds Ou****t**

Harry had woken up again after four attempts of trying to sleep._ Seems like I'm a prone to nightmares, first the Dursleys, then Voldemort, now Ron. I wonder what will be next? _Harry went for another shower, and painfully began his task of rubbing ointment on this molested anus._ I hate this…thank god for magic…at least she spelled my wounds back in place…and remember the pain-reducing potion…_Drowning a capsule of the pain-reducing potion, he started his slow task of dressing himself carefully, before making his way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

---

On entering the Great Hall, he scrutinized the Gryffindor table, and seeing that it was impossible to avoid Ron and Hermione anywhere on the table, he made up his mind and walked over to the Ravenclaw table and sat himself next to Luna. _God…I'm such a wimp, can't even face him the next morning…so pathetic…_

"Good morning. Luna." Harry started piling food onto his plate.

"Good morning Harry. Is everything alright?" By now, Luna had put down her utensils and turned her head towards Harry, making them eye-to-eye._ I am short…damn you Dursleys…_

"Yeah. Why do you ask?" Harry looked at her jadedly and tiredly.

"I'm not saying I don't like you here, but you never sit here. You sure you're fine?" Luna raised both eyebrows at this.

Harry put down his knife and fork, and sighed exasperatedly, "Luna. I am fine. I'm always all right. There's no need to worry. I just felt like sitting here this morning. I haven't talked to you for such a long time."

Harry went back to his food, and Luna, shaking her head sadly, returned to her own food. _Seems like talking to Luna is out of question…god…what is wrong with me? Retorting to Luna like that, what was I thinking. She doesn't deserve that attitude. Maybe it's because I am such a horrible person; Ron did that to me. Perhaps I did deserve last night's treatment because I've caused other people more pain…_

---

It was already half an hour into breakfast, and Harry still hasn't appeared in the Great Hall, or so Hermione thought, as she didn't see Harry making his way to the Ravenclaw table. Turning her head towards her boyfriend, she asked worriedly, "Ron, have you seen Harry this morning? I didn't see him when I came down earlier. Even if he did sleep in, he should be here by now. Do you now where he is?"

Ron waved his wand inconspicuously under the table, casting the imperious curse on Hermione. Seeing her eyes glaze over slightly for a second meaning that his spell worked, he then said, "Oh, Harry that traitor, he won't be joining us. After giving me my present last night, he told me that it would be 'the last gift' from him, after last night, I don't give a damn anymore on what he does. He betrayed us Hermione; don't bother with him anymore. We only have each other now."

Hermione only nodded vaguely, as if she had no emotions, and continued back to finishing off her breakfast. Ron was secretly dancing in delight…_there you go Harry. Don't even try and defend yourself now, it would be useless anyway…_

Throughout breakfast, Harry didn't even lift his eyes from his plate, and when the time came for going back to the common rooms again for the day, Harry stood up like an old man, and scuffled out of the Great Hall, never once turning his head to the Gryffindor table to look the red-head or the brunette._ I don't get Ron. He knew all this time that I was better than him in those areas, but why now? After all these years, why the change of heart? Or did he always feel this way? And he never told me all this…_

Harry wandered mindlessly, not really focusing on where he was going, and he ended up smashing into the door of the astronomy tower. Rubbing his head in pain, he looked up saw that the room was surprisingly empty…_guess non of the couples want to spend their time here today…_Entering the room, and locking the door behind him, he walked over to the window sill, and sat on it sideways, with his head leaned sideways against the window. The weather outside was reflecting the mood Harry was feeling now; rain was splattering heavily against the glass panes and the wind outside was blowing brutally. Every thing was giving off a melancholy atmosphere. The more he looked out into the environment, the more he delved deeper into his own thoughts, thus, causing his chest to become painfully tight, throat constricting harshly, and his sight was rapidly growing more blurry by the second…_such a weakling…crying over something I definitely deserved…_

---

For three days, Hermione and Ron ignored Harry, and vice versa. They never crossed paths, and Harry was fine with it, but one thing kept on nagging his mind; the look in the bushy-haired eyes…_I swear I've seen that look somewhere…think…dammit…think…yes…finally…Imperius curse victims…oh my god…I can't believe the lengths Ron would go to…to destroy me…I'm not an idiot…it would be figured out after some time…also…this is violating Hermione mentally…should take it off…and if she still hates me…then…I'll deal with it…_

That night, when Hermione was still sitting in front of the fire in the common room reading another tome, Harry inconspicuously waved _"finite incantem" _at the Head Girl, and straight away, she flinched significantly, and started to turn her head left and right to find what she thought was an intruder.

_I hope she still believes in me…she is the only friend I have left…don't end us…you were always cool when it came to logic…I hope that is still there…_After a few seconds of silence, Harry came out from behind the couch, and slowly started to make his way towards his friend. He seemed to be treading carefully towards her, not wanting to scare her…_more like not wanting to face a forceful confrontation…if anything happens…_

"Hermione, hello." Harry timidly whispered into the night.

Hermione, who was sitting on the sofa, moved to one side, and patted the empty seat next to her. "Oh, Harry. It's only you. Come sit down. Where were you for the last few days? To talk about it, I can't remember much about the last three days, what happened?"

The Head Boy carefully sat down on the spot Hermione offered for him, being very cautious to not touch her in any way._ What is wrong with me? I can't even touch her without flinching or having flashbacks…_ He gave a nervous smile, and started talking. _I have to tell her…can't lie…or she'll never get it…have to trust her…_ "You were under the Imperious curse for the last three days. Ron casted it, because he doesn't want you to worry over me anymore."

Hermione looked at him hard and incredulously, and raised both her eyebrows. "Harry, there's more. Talk."

Knowing that there is no way out of this interrogation other than lie, and he doesn't plan on lying any time soon to the brunette, he started telling her the truth. With his legs tucked under him, and his head nearly burrowed into himself, he began murmuring to Hermione with his eyes trained on the dancing flames. "Ron and I had a huge falling out on Christmas night after you went to bed and to ensure that you were on his side, he performed the Imperious curse on you to control your every move, for fear that you wouldn't follow his lead on 'Potter is our enemy'."

Hermione remained absolutely silent after his explanation. Harry took a risk and raised his head to take a peek at his friend. With her wand in her hand, the brunette was shaking in anger, and with furious eyes, she growled out, "How dare he? That bastard. I won't let him off that easily…"_ Oh my…Hermione must be very angry. She never curse…_

"Don't Hermione. It's not worth it, and Ron is your boyfriend. Don't do anything just because he and I had a misunderstanding. What happened, happened, there is nothing you can do to change the circumstances. Just leave it be." Harry interrupted Hermione before she could say anything else. She in response gave a curt nod at Harry's plead._ Fine Harry. If that's how you like it, but, I will talk to Ron tonight…after you've gone to bed…_

Both heads' stayed silent after that. Harry was enjoying the fact that Hermione is still standing by him, while Hermione was plotting in her head on what to do to her boyfriend._ Interrogation…then plan from there…_

---

Harry had retired to bed again due to exhaustion and weariness, while Hermione stayed downstairs, waiting for the right time to sneak out of the rooms to the Gryffindor chambers._ I know it's Christmas so hardly any teachers are on their rounds. If I do get caught, it won't matter because this problem between Harry and Ron is serious…and I have to ask Ron what really happened…Harry was still hiding something from me…_

Hearing the clock chiming for 1 o'clock, she performed the Disillusion charm on herself, and stepped out of the Head's chambers to begin her trip to the Gryffindor dormitories. Avoiding Mr Filch and his cat was hard without an invisibility cloak Hermione realized, as she made her way across Hogwarts. Tensing at every minute noise that went around the school, she finally breathed in relief when she reached the Fat Lady.

"_Slytherin Sucks"_ Hermione shook her head at the password. _Only Ron would do something like this…not all Slytherins are bad._ Upon entering the common rooms, she found her source of interrogation snoring in the armchair next to the fire._ Perfect!_

"_Enervate"_ Hermione sat herself on the opposite couch, to wait for her boyfriend to come back to the living.

With one last snore, Ron opened his two baby blues, and looked at the bushy-haired blearily. "What Hermione?"

"Nothing Ron, just wanting to ask why I was under the Imperious curse for the past three days? And don't bother lying; you were always awful at it when it came to me." Hermione raised one of her eyebrows, and waited for the redhead's answer.

Ron was squirming under Hermione's light but very cold and hard look, he knew without a doubt that lying would only make the whole situation more adverse. But, there is still a part of him that is very smug about what he had done to Harry.

"I didn't want to loose you to Harry, so the only thing I could think of was to cast the Imperious on you. I'm sorry Hermione." Ron crossed his arm over chest and his face showed true remorse.

Hermione have a big sigh, and leaned forward slightly, "What did you do to Harry? Something must've happened to have you cast the Unforgivable on me."

"Something did happen, only that I should've done something about it years earlier. I should've realized it sooner, so I could stop it from happening." Ron uttered angrily into the air.

_Is he still on about it? He was muttering angrily that day to me about Harry always being in the spotlight, but I gave him a look, and he zipped his mouth shut. Did he do something about it? Oh my, what did you do Ron? Let's get straight to the point._ "What did you do to resolve this issue you have with Harry?" The brunette asked in fake concern.

"It was so easy to trick Harry. Ha. I told him that I would be giving him something that can be only opened in private, so we went upstairs to his room. He never expected me doing it. The whole time, he was mumbling 'I'm sorry Ron. Didn't mean to. I'm sorry." Sorry wouldn't fix this, but at least, he got his punishment." Ron smugly said.

Hermione knew that Ron would never tell in exact words on what he had done, so she did an unforgivable thing herself on Ron, _revenge is sweet…_ with a wave of her wand and a soft "legitimis', she delved into his mind for the answer that he seemed to unable to give.

"Hey Harry, can we go upstairs to give you my present? It's an all boys thing." Ron asked sincerely. Harry gave a nod, and he climbed up the stairs, his presents floating behind him. 

_When Harry's back was turned, Ron gave an evil and sadistic grin at the brunette. Opening the door to his bedroom, Harry never expected Ron to push him into bed viciously. Harry gave an 'oomph'; he tried to retaliate, but Ron had an extra 30 pounds and 6 inches on him. After a few futile attempts of dislodging Ron from his back, he laid limply under Ron's figure. _

_Ron began stripping Harry bare, and the figure underneath him started squirming again. Not even acknowledging Harry's discomfort, he continued his task calmly. When Harry was in his birthday suit, Ron reached his hand down to the floor and picked up his abandoned wand. Waving his wand, ropes flew out and tied Harry's hands securely to the headboard, making him impossible to protect himself._

"_Please Ron, don't do this."_

"_Oh no Harry. You're going to pay. You're going to pay for everything you'd done to me in the past 7 years at Hogwarts. I thought I was your friend Harry, but no, you took my chance at becoming the Quidditch captain, Head Boy, you destroyed my life, if it wasn't for you, I would be all of the above. You, Harry Potter, are going to pay dearly for this…Revenge…is…sweet." Ron whispered fiercely into Harry's ear, pinning him harder onto the bed._

_Harry wasn't able to move from his vulnerable position on the bed. Hands locked to the headboard above his head, trousers and boxers ripped away from him, giving him no protection of what was to come. Ron grinned wickedly at Harry's current position. _

_Ron stood up slowly, and began undoing his trousers. When his undergarments were down until his knees, he crouched himself over Harry again. _

"_Happy Christmas, Harry." With that said, Ron plunged his penis into Harry dry, without any preparation, only some spit that was coated on his genitals for his own comfort. _

_Not soon after, Ron came to his release. He undid all of his charms on Harry, dressed himself quickly and walked to the door. Just before he walked out, he turned back and threatened, "Don't bother telling anybody, because seriously, nobody would believe you, and even if somebody does, it won't do you any good, because when I find out, you are going to pay the price for dobbing me in. Remember that, Harry." Giving him another foul grin, Ron walked out of the room,_

Hermione left his mind in disgust and shock. Ron was still sitting there panting, recovering from his mind rape. He looked at Hermione, but remained speechless, knowing that two wrongs don't make a right.

"How could you Ron? Violating him like that? He trusted you completely, and you…Is that why you performed the Imperious on me?" Hermione got up and paced around the room in anger.

"Herm, I…" Ron was stopped by Hermione's furious and icy cold glare.

"Stop trying to justify yourself. What you did was immoral. Oh, and, we're really over this time and don't you dare speak to me or Harry again." With that said, Hermione stormed out of the Gryffindor dorms. In her fit of anger, she forgot to put on a disillusion charm on herself. But luckily, nobody crossed her path.

Back in the Gryffindor Common Rooms, Ron was pacing and seething in rage. Only one thought was in his mind, _you will pay Potter…you will pay…_


	3. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two: A Second Round**

Hermione raced up the stairs to Harry's bedroom, and seeing the door slightly ajar, she decided to enter the room. The curtains were closed, and the window was shut tight. Not surprisingly, Harry was in bed, evidently having another nightmare. Without a doubt, Hermione knew what the gist of it was._ I'm sorry Harry. I never saw it coming. I was dating that bastard…I've got to say; breaking up with that git wasn't such a bad idea._ Glancing at Harry's restless figure, she retreated from the room, knowing that her physical comfort wouldn't do much help.

Harry got up the next morning to an insistent knocking on hit door. _Wonder what Herms want?_ Putting on his trousers and a rugged looking shirt, he went over to the door and opened it. Standing opposite him was Hermione, already dressed for the day, looking unusually fidgety and nervous._ I've never seen her like this, well not towards me, what did she do?_

"Hermione. Good morning. You want something?" Harry asked in question.

"No…yes…I'm sorry Harry. I wasn't trying to pry, but I had to ask Ron. I know it's your privacy, and I should've respected it, but you know me. I'm so sorry. You have my word that I will never tell another soul." Hermione babbled breathlessly. Harry stood there in anger at Hermione's inquisitiveness, and he did the only thing he could think of. He ordered Hermione away with an icy 'leave', and slammed the door in her face. Hermione's sniffles could be heard through the door, but Harry was too angry too care.

_How dare she…it's not her fault though. Ron performed the unforgivable on her, so she had the right to know the reason behind it. She only wanted to help, and I don't have to be so defensive about it, she's still my friend, so give her a chance. I forgive her, but I'll give her another day._

Harry stayed up in his room all day, completing his last holiday essay (potions), and practicing curses and hexes on a conjured death eater figure. He only came out of his room after supper for a trip to the kitchens. Passing Hermione on the way out, he overlooked her and disappeared through the portrait hole. He had to mentally scold himself later for his stupidity for not bringing his invisibility cloak, because on the way to the kitchens, Ron ambushed him._ Now what Ron?_ Ron didn't even give Harry a chance to speak, before stunning him.

Carrying Harry was easy for Ron, and not 10 minutes later, they were in the Room of Requirements. The décor of the room was based on all Ron's thoughts, all bare except a long abrasive whip and a shiny metal table. The floor and walls were concrete and there were no windows, so no light was escaping into the room. A lone dripping candle was the only source of light, giving the room an eerie atmosphere. Ron cackled wickedly, before stripping Harry to nothing, who was still out cold. Pocketing Harry's wand and glasses in his own pocket, he took out his own wand and brought Harry back to the living with a loud slap.

Harry moaned quietly, and two viridian orbs snapped open. He opened his mouth to speak, but before any words were formed, a gag was shoved in brutally. The boy-who-lived began to be aware of his surroundings. He was stark naked, while his attacker was fully clothed. The coldness of the ground beneath him was gradually seeping through his pores, making him shivering slightly. A sudden sense of vulnerability hit him hard, and he instinctively scooted backwards. He only moved back a few inches before the redhead tackled him to the floor. His arms were forced above his head and a minute later, they were tied securely above his head._ Not again…_

"What did I tell you last time Harry? You spill this to anyone and there will be dire punishments. And you know what you did, you broke me and Hermione up." Ron's blazing eyes glared down at Harry with hate.

The redhead had full control here, and he as bursting with glee. Picking himself up again, he floated Harry up onto the table next to him. Dropping Harry onto the table non-too cautiously, he then flipped the brunet over onto his stomach, revealing a slender but strong back, a pale backside and strong thighs. _Yummy…but I need to keep his ankles in place…better have them spread open…just like a whore…_

The first lash cracked onto his back, and Harry felt that the whip had small spikes imbedded into it, clearly to inflict more pain for the victim. He had to thank Ron for gagging him earlier, or his tongue would've fallen off by now, after 25 lashes. After 50 lashes, Ron decided to stop, but Harry's back was already ripped into shreds. Blood was gushing heavily out of the wounds, some even dripping onto the floor, creating a few red sticky puddles on the slate concrete.

A rustling was heard behind him, and the next thing he knew, was a very heavy weight sitting between his thighs. Something was nudging against his sphincter_ obviously his dick,_ and he couldn't help but whimper at that. The penis, to his amazement, wasn't entering him._ What is he waiting for? Oh, my blood for lubricant._ Ron was disregarding Harry's pain, as he was scooping blood to coat his organ in. Not a second later, a slick penis was felt thrusting into him roughly, and this time, Harry fell into unconsciousness.

---

Hermione was worried. It had been 4 hours since Harry disappeared through that entrance, and he still wasn't back. She knew he went to the kitchens, since she'd seen him do that countless of times before. _A trip to Dobby doesn't take 4 hours._ Knowing the only thing she could do was to look at the map, she went upstairs to Harry's bedroom, and fortunately, his father's map was sitting opened on the bed. Finding Harry's dot in the Room of Requirements, she noticed at once that his dot wasn't moving at all. Looking furthermore on the map, she was Ronald Weasley's dot travelling very quickly to the direction of the Gryffindor tower. _Isn't that the route we normally use if we're returning from the Room or Requirements? Oh my…don't tell me…_

Rifling through his trunk, she found the Invisibility cloak neatly folded on the bottom. Taking that out hastily, she felt for her wand. Feeling that also in her pocket, she raced down that room with the cloak in her hands, and zoomed out of the Head's chambers.

When pushing the slightly opened door to the come and go room 10 minutes later, she had to gag and gasp at the stench that was filling her nostrils. The sight in front of her brought a round of tears to her eyes, and she hurriedly wiped them, focusing on the matter at hand. Harry's clothes were in one pile with his wand and glasses lying innocently on top. 2 feet away was a table with Harry, obviously unconscious, on his stomach, still with his wrist tied and mouth gagged. Hermione moved into action at once. Taking the gag off first, then unbinding his tied wrists, she relieved him off some of the discomfort. The jostling awoke Harry, given that he started moaning softly in pain.

"Shhhh Harry. I'm taking you to the Hospital Wing" Hermione whispered soothingly.

"Tell Poppy to not tell Dumbledore, and don't you go to him to dob yourself. Just leave it be. We have more pressing issues to attend to, like Voldemort." Harry slurred in his speech.

Hermione let 2 droplets of tears fall in his hair, and began her task of taking him to the Hospital Wing.

_Oh Harry. I'll respect your decision this time, but if Ron does anything to you again, and I mean anything, I will go up to the Headmaster and spill._


	4. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three: Back to the Living**

_Where am I?_ It had been three days since Harry's admittance to hospital. He opened one eyelid, revealing a clear jade pupil. Looking around, he smelt and saw that he was again, in the hospital wing. _What happened, oh yeah, Hermione rescued me from dying…I should thank her, and should stop ignoring her…_ Groaning slightly, he sat up gingerly, being careful of his still tender injuries, and looked around. Spotting a blurry blob that he identified as his glasses on the drawer next to his bed, he reached over and put them on. Instantly, his vision improved, and he at once detected a bushy haired sleeping at an awkward angle by his foot.

Harry's slight movements unfortunately awoke Hermione, and rubbing her eyes, she yawned out, "Harry, you're awake. How you're feeling?"

_Dead and cold…_ "Better, thanks for the…" Harry waved his hand in the air, trying to find a word without wanting to make a big deal out of it.

"No worries Harry. Hey, what are friends for? And I should apologize, I shouldn't have pried, it was your own business and I wasn't supposed to put my nose in it. I'm sorry Harry, I ju…" Hermione was cut off by Harry, who whispered out, "It's okay Hermione. I forgive you, just don't go around and telling everybody this, please. I want to keep some things from the press."

Hermione still looked anxious over the issue, but left it at that, _thank Merlin._ Right on the time when Harry stepped one foot out of bed, Madam Promfrey bustled in, and in a threatening voice, she said, "Mr Potter, don't you dare try and get out. You were brought in with severe injuries, which needs another couple of days rest. Don't worry though, you won't miss school. I'll let you out when term starts again."

Harry groaned out loud, sending the only two females in the room chuckling at his forlorn expression. Harry had no choice but to return under the covers waiting for the next instruction. None came, as the school nurse went back to her office, and the next thing he knew, was a stack of books placed beside his legs. _What the hell Hermione?_

"I got these books out of your room, thought you might want to look over it, since you have nothing else to do, and I've got your wand here." Hermione reached into her pocket, and took out a long stick.

_He didn't break this? I would've thought he would, but anyways…_ "Thanks Herm. You don't need to stay here if you don't want to. I can handle it in here by myself." Harry said earnestly.

"Really?" Hermione tilted her head in question._ I don't want to leave him here alone…_

"Yes, really. Now shoo." Harry gave a nod, and picked the top book from the pile, _Defensive Spells and Their Uses_.

Flipping to the 3rd chapter, he heard rather than saw his final friend leave the hospital wing._ I don't deserve a friend like her; she's too good for me…_

---

Harry stayed for the next two nights in the infirmary to his aggravation and by the time he was let out again, it was 2 days from the start of term._ Have to talk to Snape about the Occulmency, need to tell him to push me harder, I have to block my mind against Voldie, don't want him knowing all my dirty little secrets…but then, I don't want Snape to know either…Dammit…_

Walking to the dungeons, where he knew the Potions Master would be, he prepared for the worst.

2 soft knocks were heard from within Professor Snape's office. Striding towards the door in his usual manner…_who could be knocking on my door in the holidays? Can't be Albus because he just comes in, with or without invitation…_ he opened the stony door and saw Harry Potter standing rather timidly outside.

"Yes Potter? What can I do for you?" Snape snarled out.

_I see his attitude is still the same; at least some things never change…_ "Could you be harder in my occulmency lessons?" Harry was trying not to fidget under Snape's intense glare._ I need to do this…_

"It would be my pleasure Potter. Now was that all? Leave." Snape sneered like he did every time, and slammed the door in Harry's face._ Why would he want harder lessons? He's already grasping occulmency, not that I will tell him that…_

Harry walked back to the head rooms in deep thought, never seeing a certain blond Slytherin in his path.

"Oomph" The two boys knocked against each other, causing the brunet to tumble on to the floor ungracefully with the Slytherin following suit.

"Potter. Why can't you watch where you're walking?" Draco sneered out. _Even if he is a spy, it doesn't mean I have to like him. His alliances might have changed, but his irritating attitude is still there…_

"Sorry Malfoy." Giving a curt nod, he picked himself up, and walked off, leaving the blond in bafflement._ He never just walks away from a fight? What is wrong? And I should start being more civil to Potter, we are on the same side after all, not that he knows…but I think he does…who knows…_

---

_Great, now I have bruises on top of newly healed skin…just what I need…_ The trip to his rooms was more painful than it sounded. Tender spots were still throbbing, and walking up stairs deemed a killer. _I hate life…_ By the time he reached the portrait hole, he was panting slightly, and wincing at every rub of his robes against his back. _Maybe Promfrey was right, I should've taken the pain-reducing potion this morning, damn Gryffindor pride…_

"Hey Herms," Harry gave a small gesture in salutation and went upstairs.

5 minutes later, after Harry had drowned his potions; he went downstairs and sat himself on the floor opposite the Head girl, a stack of books, ranging from the Dark Arts, to Battle tips. Hermione gave out a meek 'hello', and said softly, "Why are you down here Harry? Not that I don't like your company, but you never studied your extra curriculum subjects down here, your always up in your own room."

"I merely wanted some company. Being yourself is kind of boring." A simple answer was provided, but the simplicity of it triggered more question than resolution. _Is there more to it? Does he feel a bit insecure after the attacks, I wouldn't blame him…_

Hermione gave a tiny smile and asked, "Now that you're finally down here studying, can I study with you? I mean, I have to prepare myself for the war, whether you like it or not, so what's the harm in absorbing more information?"

Harry nodded and gave her the 3rd tomb in the heap, _Guide for Dueling and Battle Techniques_, and returned to his own gathering of information.

3 hours had passed, with Harry sometimes lending a hand to help his friend in wand-waving preciseness, when he suddenly blurted out, "I have a confession to make."_ I should tell her about Malfoy, she's going to know about it soon enough…but what if someone else finds out…but I should tell her…_

Hermione looked up, her caramels in delight from the current learning, and asked in concern, "What is it Harry? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, it's Malfoy actually." Harry marked his book with a doggy ear, and closed it. Slouching against the couch behind him, he continued, "You know how his parents died earlier in the summer holidays last year…"

The brunette nodded and signaled him to continue, "Well, that seemed to have pushed him away from Voldemort than what Voldemort had intended. But, he wanted to do some service for the light side, so he's following Snape's footpath." Harry finished off softly.

Hermione clamped her hand against her soundless moving mouth, and only managed to squeak out, "You mean he is…doing that…he's…"

Harry confirmed her running thoughts with a nod. Hushing his voice more, he uttered out, "But Malfoy doesn't know I know. And don't go and try to approach him. I don't want to expose his undercover work because of us."

"Oh my god, is that why? He's been calling me Granger instead of mudblood. I mean, I was a bit shocked, but I left it at that. So this is why he's been more civil." Hermione was still clearly shocked at the news._ I'm going to listen to Harry for once, I don't want to be the reason for his exposure if that ever happens, have to ask Harry, no Snape, if I can attend lessons with Harry for occulmency. _

"Yeah, that's why. Anyway, I'm retiring for the night." The messy-haired teen got on his feet despairingly and made his way upstairs. _God, I feel like an old man, all somnolent and weary. _

"Wait, Harry," Hermione called from the bottom of the staircase just as he was about to step into his room.

"Yes?" Turning his head back, he looked down at the bushy-haired who was looking up.

"Is it possible to attend Snape's occulmency lesson next week? I don't want to spill secrets unintentionally if my mind gets probed." The heartfelt timbre of his friend's voice essentially clenched some part of his heart, and he responded, "you can try, but if he doesn't allow it, then I'll try and help you privately."

Hermione actually beamed at his answer, jumped up girlishly, and nearly yelled out her "thanks Harry", before rushing to her own bedroom. Harry just shook his head in amusement at her antics before slowly entering his room.

_It's a good thing that Hermione is going to prepare herself…Dammit, why couldn't I kill you earlier Voldemort, all these people won't have to die…Remus…Tonks…Hagrid…all my fault… have to defeat him, even if I die trying…_Going into his bathroom, to get cleaned up for the night, he inconspicuously spotted the blade Sirius had given him before he died. If it were a month ago, no contemplation would've gone through his head, but things change, and looking at it now, notions of cutting were suddenly penetrated into his brain._ What would it fell like? I wonder…I mean, they're supposed to numb some of the pain, will it work on me? Have to try to know…I'll give it a shot, won't be harmful…_

Reaching across the sink, he grabbed the pocket-knife and held it in front of him. Flipping it open, he turned the under the light, inspecting the blade. The metal was shining in its full glory, the light hitting at certain points, causing it to gleam and shine. Giving it another examining look, he swiftly brought it down onto his left arm and dragged it not too lightly, but not too deeply either down his forearm, being careful not to hit any vital arteries. _Ahhh…they were right, it does take away some of the pain…just don't try and kill myself…_


	5. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four: Curiosity Killed the Cat**

Ever since Potter's weird behaviour by the stairs before start of term, Draco has been contemplating over the small issue. Now, this wouldn't normally be seen as an issue, but the young and only surviving Malfoy was curious, very curious. He heard from Blaise, one of his trusted friends, two days into term that Potter was admitted to the infirmary after New Years. _What a lovely way to spend New Years…_ and a day later, news were spread around the school that the Weasel's relationship with Potter and Granger were over. _Not so much of a golden trio now eh…wonder what happened…_

Draco Malfoy was currently sitting in Potions, behind Harry and Hermione, when he noticed the pair was arguing; not furiously but still arguing. _What's taking place, never seen Potter this riled up at Granger?_ Knowing that the potion Snape had set them would be simple for the blond, he opened his ears a bit and began to eavesdrop on their heated whisperings.

"…can't you go to Dumbledore?"

"No Hermione, I can't and I won't, and don't you dare."

"Harry. He won't be mad at you. The most he would do would be coddling you, then he would give Ron the punishment he deserves."

"No Herms, just leave the topic alone. I don't want everybody to know okay. Look, I appreciate your concern and goodwill but please, just leave it. It's a chapter in my life which I intend to keep closed."

"But you can't go on like this. I'm worried. You don't sleep, you're…you are basically dead to the world."

"Hermione, just drop it, before I will do something you'll regret. Know what's best for you and you'll shut up." Draco heard the sudden coldness in his voice and couldn't help but shudder.

"Fine Harry, but this doesn't mean I'm not your friend anymore."

"I know Herms, now shut up before Snape slaughters us." By now, Snape had seen their whisperings and billowed towards their desk. A vial of a perfectly made potion was sitting on their table, and both Gryffindors had their reports ready to hand in.

"Potter, Granger. 20 points off Gryffindor for chattering during class." A cold sneer broke out, and when his back was turned, Harry sighed in frustration but remained silent otherwise.

_Wonder what he was going on about? What did the Weasel do?_ The Malfoy was connecting the dots from his collection of information he had received over the past few days, and he had to mull over the facts._ Does this have anything to do with his stay in the infirmary…Weasel straying away from the Golden Trio, Potter getting out of the Hospital Wing after a few days, now Granger says Weasel did something to Potter to make her want to go to the headmaster, then I hear that he deserves a heavy punishment…what in Merlin's name is going on?_

By the time the blond shook himself out of his reverie, the class was dismissed. The two Gryffindors whom he was previously eavesdropping on, were the last ones minus himself, to leave the room. When he was absolutely sure that the two were out of earshot, he ambled up to his Potions' professor, and asked, "Severus, what is going on with Granger and Potter?"

"Why Draco, never thought you were interested in her." Obsidian eyes bored into pale grey ones.

"No, I was curious. Having heard all the news around the school, and the conversation they were having just then in class, I want to know exactly what is happening." Draco was demanding for an answer, but unfortunately, his forcefulness only worked with his housemates, never on Severus.

"And why do you think I would know? Do you see me putting my nose in their petty business?" Thin lips curled into a sneer, while one black eyebrow rose in question.

"I know you train Potter so I thought you would know something, and by the way, does he know about my alliance?" Draco by now had sat himself in one of the chairs in the front row.

"I do know some matter of Potter. All I can say is that there were some major disagreement between the Weasley Boy and Potter." Even though Harry wasn't Snape's favourite, he isn't that cruel to break his plead of shutting up._ Please Snape, I'm not asking you again, but can anything you see from Hermione or I never leave this room or your lips?_

Seeing the bewildered expression on the young Malfoy, he continued, "If you're so curious, why not approach them. They know about your spying, well I know Potter does. And like what I said, why not approach them and observe Potter more imperceptibly. They won't snub you like you think they would." _I know how desperately the boy wants to befriend Potter, maybe this would do it…_

"What would happen if _**he **_finds out?" Even though the blond was perfectly calm and still, his fear for his exposure of his true status was palpable to the Potions Master. _I know what I'm doing is dangerous, but that doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to try and protect myself…_

"You can tell him that by befriending Potter, you can get closer to him, and obviously, there would be more information for him." Snape explained thoroughly to the boy opposite him, as though this was one of his potion instructions. _Draco would be good for Potter, even if I don't like it, and vice versa…I know he is gay, I can only think of Potter as a worthy choice._

---

_Potter's acting all not normal…now he's going into the bathroom? What for, class is in 2 minutes, and he is going to the bathroom? Professor Rowell is going to kill him, he hates him, and this would be the perfect excuse to punish him…let's check it out…_The Slytherin Prince sneaked behind him noiselessly, being very careful of not getting caught. Staying by the door, he heard no sound coming out from the male's bathroom. Peeking around slightly, so he can see the wizard's back, he was rather shocked by what he saw._ Oh fucking Salazar Slytherin…is he crazy? Trying to commit suicide?_ Harry's pale arm was turned towards his side, so Draco had the perfect view. Blood was now dripping down the forearms and into the sink. He must've sensed something, because suddenly, the taps were turned and the incised arm was thrusted under the water. A minute later, a penknife was brought out and it was being washed to resume to its cleanness._ Why would he be cutting himself, surely, ending his companionship with the Weasel can't be that drastic…_

By the time Harry had abandoned the bathroom; Malfoy was long gone. _I swear, I heard something just then, might be my head playing tricks again, but I was 100 sure that there was somebody outside the room._ He did not go to class, however, he made his towards the hospital wing for more painkillers._ Even magic can't take all the pain away…_

Draco saw Harry leaving the bathroom, but he didn't bother with calling out. Only one thought went through his head..._Fucking Merlin...Potter cutting himself...Fuck...  
_


End file.
